Character Sheet (In Progress)


Basics

Name: Stafford Rhodes Savage
Nicknames: He’s heard ‘Staff,’ which leads to mental eye-rolling. He doesn’t mind his full name, but does prefer to be called ‘Savage.’
Birthday: September 3, 1970
Blood Status: Half
Hair: Darkish brown, usually kept quite short. Usually has a bit of stubble going, though since his release from Mungo’s he’s tried to go for the clean-shaven look in order to prove that his mind isn’t distracted. The longer he remains out of the hospital, the more likely he is to look a bit scruffy.
Eyes: Green-brown
Height: 5’10”
Weight: Consistently under what it ought to be. He was better about this at Mungo’s, if only because of the constant watch and regulation, but he’s already headed back to his usual.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Burn mark on his left upper arm, taken during an encounter with Death Eaters. His walk is a bit odd; while he moves with something like the deftness he taught himself as an Auror, there is now also a certain stiffness about his movements, giving the sense that he is holding something in restraint (and, indeed, the stiffness is a conscious effort to keep himself from shaking or twitching, from any gesture that might betray his condition). When he lets his guard down at all, he is given to slight tics and twitches, movements that don’t seem fully conscious.
Details: At first glance, Stafford appears distant but sharply alert, as well as hostile in a somewhat removed way. A silent threat. This has been the appearance for years, and serious expressions are certainly the rule with Savage; it takes a lot to bring a smile. Since using the Unforgiveables, there is also a haunted look about him, one that is readily apparent and becomes (or may become) more unsettling with closer observation.

Family

Parents: Dalton Savage and Rhetta Hawkes
Siblings: Everett, younger brother by four years (entered Hogwarts '85) who has started working at a family of his own.
Children: None
Other Relatives: Several to be (hopefully) mentioned in the future. There are a couple of cousin’s on his mother’s side of whom he is particularly fond. They are Ariadne and Tristan, and he tends to relax perceptibly around them. They saw quite a bit of each other during their youths, though communication dwindled somewhat when their family moved back to the United States Both did visit Mungo’s during Stafford’s stay, and have promised to come again.
Hometown: He’s spent most of his time post-Hogwarts living in or near London. As far as his youth home… Details’ll be coming. Some day.
Details: Stafford hasn’t had any major quarrels with his family, but he isn’t exactly warm toward them, and often seems to avoid them. More on the details of this will hopefully come in the future. Otherwise, both his father and mother’s family are of mixed blood. While Dalton’s family is primarily middle and lower class, Rhetta can trace one side of her family to a far more well-established line. She descended from a branch that split and was as good as disowned by the main body of the family, however, and so far as they are concerned doesn’t exist.

Background

Hogwarts House: Slytherin
Current Occupation: Recently employed at Pell-Mell in Diagon. Only recently released from St. Mungo’s, Stafford is already becoming terribly uneasy about his unemployment, and is seeking a job, possibly working at some shop in Diagon. He wants to become an Auror again and at present believes this to be possible.
Current Residence: Going to be living above Pell-Mell in Diagon.
Role in the War: Working on the exact dates, but speaking in fairly non-specific terms… After he was taken off the guard force at Hogwarts (where he was stationed through the first half of the ’96-’97 year; unless there‘s a reason to do otherwise, will be saying that he was able to switch assignments at that point), Savage was able to actively participate in the war as an Auror, tracking and fighting Death Eaters and their like as often as he was able. He continued in that until his repeated use of the Unforgivable Curses (the Killing Curse and the Imperius; he never did use the Cruciatus) more or less fucked over his mind and sent him into an uncomprehending breakdown (see below for further information).
Life Since the War: He has been at St. Mungo’s, where for over two years he would respond to nothing, would only claw and speak in unrelated, unceasing flows of words. When he did begin to respond, it was very vaguely, and he was a long time in returning to consciousness. Once Savage began to get some hold on himself, his recovery quickened rapidly; he was determined to get away from the hospital and its constant observation, to take care of himself. As he began to improve, Stafford was given accounts of the war’s end and the developments that followed. These began as very vague indications but soon formed a sort of framework of understanding for his reentry into the world. He took the information, kept it as straight as he could and catalogued it in mind, denying the sense of unease that its existence brought.

Only recently released from Mungo’s, Savage will remain fairly close watch, required to check in with certain healers, to keep accounts of his activities and to follow particular dictates in terms of behavior and habits (if all or any of this would be suitable in terms of the rules and run of Mungo’s). He has indicated his desire to be working, to be productive, and the hospital has agreed to help him find a fairly low-stress job in Diagon Alley, as the occupation seems likely to aid his improvement; he doesn’t do well with remaining idle. Savage sees this as an opportunity to prove his stability and prove that he could handle a more stressful job. Such as, say, an Auror’s job.

Life Plans: Stafford had once intended once to distinguish himself as an Auror, to become as effective as could be. The goal remains, though it is perhaps not so realistic, now.
Details: Necessary note the first says that Savage used the Unforgivables only on threatening Death Eaters. Anything else would have been out of the question.

Necessary note the second says that Stafford used the Unforgivables because he sensed that they were the best options at the time. They were quick and they were unexpected; on more than one occasion, his use of the curses helped to keep other Aurors alive. Because the Aurors lived while the Death Eaters fell, Savage saw this as, on practical level, an acceptable route. Even from the first use, however, he felt negative effects. The realization that he had used such a curse brought doubts of its own, but the more major issue came with the mental pain that it brought. Using the curse brought a near-total breakdown (once alone and at home), a night of not-knowing, shouting, and unconscious self-injury, though he pulled himself together for the next day’s work( some of the specific details regarding the Ministry will likely differ, but this mini-fic gives a sense of Stafford’s reaction to his first Unforgivable use). Savage used Unforgiveables several more times, and with each came another shattering of the nerves later in the evening, off the field and away from the office. Each time he pulled himself back together, but each time he was left a little less solid, until finally, he cracked. All sense left him, all distinction of reality fled, and he went quite fully out of his mind. He hasn’t fully recovered, by any means, and probably never will. He tends to appear better off than he is (and he doesn’t tend to look particularly well; just better). The best that he can hope and work for is to keep disruptions under control. How well he manages this remains, I suppose, to be seen.

He’s not quite sure how to handle the post-war society, and it‘s probably going to take a while to figure any of that out. The world is different from the one that he remembers. That is, the rules have changed somewhat, the events have shifted, there are commonplace references and occurrences that never existed for him. The more he discovers, the more firmly he stands convinced that little has changed for the better. And Savage is puzzled by those who have moved on from the war. Having been more or less in a sort of suspension during the years after the war, he cannot shake its sense or fully convince himself that the conflict has ended. There may be a lull - he will admit to that much - but it does not mean an end to war, nor to the generally unpleasant state of life.


Relationships

Friends: That’s… I don’t know. He hasn’t had a whole lot of close acquaintances, and as the majority of them were Aurors, they seem mainly to have died during the war. Er. Will continue to think about this, but think he may be even more on his own now.
Relationship Status: Not attached in any way. He hadn’t been seeing anyone directly before his collapse, either; as the Curses had taken their hold, he’d become more abrasive with others, actively (at times, violently) pushing them away.
Sexual Preference: He goes for the women.
Sexual Experience: Quite a bit of it, thanks (though not so much over the past few years). Stafford has found fucking to be an excellent way to release tensions of emotion and suchlike.
Current Significant Other: None. He isn’t sure how well a relationship would work just now, though he really wouldn’t mind getting out and about a little bit, even for a one-night arrangement.
Past Significant Others: A few of the more long-term variety (one with a witch named Aleta Grey, the others… currently unnamed, I suppose), quite a few very short-term.
Details: The majority of Stafford’s relations with other people are fairly formal. He usually prefers to keep sexual encounters fairly brief; likes a bit of talk with the right person, but has anything beyond that tends to start getting in the way of work or impeding on his personal space. As noted, however, there have been instances in which Stafford has gone beyond these briefer encounters. Once he gets past the first few weeks, Stafford does begin to form some attachments. As the relationship continues, he is able even to open up a bit more and to show his own appreciation (though at least for a while, he maintains a tendency to drift into detachment). This is, of course, speaking of the case before the Unforgivables; he really isn’t sure how well any relationship would work out, now.

About

Personality Type: The lone wolf sort, Stafford is an introvert (though he wouldn’t name himself as such, and tends to balk at the notion of categorization). He doesn’t necessarily dislike people; he just doesn’t tend to feel that he needs them overmuch. He relies on himself, he trusts himself, and he figures that’s about all that he needs. “Cold” and “detached” would be apt description of Savage.
Most Endearing Qualities: In conversations, he pays close attention and becomes fully involved, if only (and as is often the way) by listening. Ability to act with conviction, and to do so quickly. A swift, if cold sort of intelligence. Strong sense of duty.
Most Annoying Qualities: Prickly, standoffish, distant. At times, his quick decisions have led to brash actions; effective, but in many cases, there were less volatile and ultimately more suitable modes of action. He has a tendency to brush past others or even unknowingly ward them away; he does this to closer acquaintances as well as to strangers. He doesn’t tolerate weakness terribly well, and doesn’t necessarily attempt to hide this.
Hobbies: Mostly playing the piano, though he hasn’t had much of a chance to do this since entering the hospital. Stafford has played for most of his life, and while he’s certainly no virtuoso, he’s not such a bad hand at it, either. It proved invaluable in developing dexterity in his fingers, and he really does enjoy it, particularly as he has few other emotional outlets. He enjoys listening to music, as well, from piano concertos to operas to rock of the wizard or Muggle variety (he interest in Muggle music having been fueled by the aforementioned cousin, Tristan).
Most Prized Possessions: He doesn’t have a whole lot of his own just now; most of his possessions (and he didn’t have all that many to begin with) were taken by his family during his stay at Mungo’s, and Stafford isn‘t certain that he wants to deal with retrieving those just yet. He is, at any rate, glad to have a wand again.
Details: Stafford has always been a bit too serious, a bit removed. He is a very private person and doesn’t often go out of his way to be sociable, far preferring to keep to himself. He doesn’t tend to recognize his own emotions. That is, he can identify them from a removed point of view, but refuses to allow them to direct his actions, refuses to let them show and so expose some sort of weakness. Stafford has a strong drive and sense of focus, as well. Lacking overly social desires, he has tended to dedicate himself to his work - preparatory studies and practicing the piano when young, class work at Hogwarts, training and then work as an Auror afterward - and so has been fairly successful in his endeavors. Or he was, until the incident with the Unforgiveables. His standards are high, both for others and himself, and Stafford tends to be hard on himself; it’s the only way to improve, he figures.

He’s got a quite thoroughly hidden strain of violence, as well. When he’s been drinking more than he ought - which has, thus far, been almost exclusively alone - the repressed emotions begin to fly out of hand. Stafford has, when drunk, a tendency to break thing, and an especial tendency to break glass.

There is also - and this is far more apparent - a lot of pride and a strong sense of duty. As an Auror, Savage thought almost entirely in terms of duty, what needed to be done. This is not to say that he saw or sees the world in black and white terms; Savage understands gray areas, has thought extensively on them. He simply knows how to divide situations as necessary, how to act in order to achieve the desired results. How to keep the muddle of theory out of situations requiring action, as well. Gray was well and good for theory, but practice required an ability to quickly sort and act on specific sets of options. Now he continues basically to hold to these same ideas, though the grays creep in with more insistence and cloud more fully. It can be a struggle to keep his head clear at all, a fact doubly frustrating for someone who has prided himself on maintaining a cool head and keen judgment.

Indeed, prior to using the curses, Savage was gifted with clear sight, the ability to judge and then to act with strength and speed. It was in part this set quality of his judgment that led him to use the Killing Curse for the first time (it was a tricky situation, and the fall of the Death Eater struck combined with the unexpected use of the curse did wonders for clearing out the area and ending that particular conflict), for though this judgment was invaluable on the battlefield, it tended to overlook difficulties of what might follow in the aftermath.

The use of the curses shifted something in his mind, and Savage has not since been able to think clearly or feel certain of anything. Information, words, images rush together in ways that he cannot understand, that seem nonsensical and often cause pain. Savage can’t stop thinking, and he can’t stop the rushing of thoughts that don’t seem to be quite his own, or at least don’t come according to his call. He learned at Mungo’s to re-route them, to allow them to rush by at a greater distance, but he is almost always aware of their distant presence, and at times they press in as closer threats.

Released from the hospital, he has tried to present himself as he was before, as if the incident had never occurred. To show otherwise would be a betrayal of his own weakness, he believes, and the knowledge that he does not fully succeed in muffling the changes (and that, really, there is no erasing what has happened) causes him grief. Wounds the pride, as well. He feels inadequate, and he feels keenly that his level of usefulness is not what it was. He saw himself always as an Auror, embraced fully the life of the all work at all times type. He cannot do what he believes that he ought, what he feels that he was meant to do. Then, too, he feels that he has largely lost control of himself; even the control gained during his recovery too often seems illusory, ready to slip away at any moment. Lack of self-control seems, of course, another weakness. And all of this brings a strong sense of shame that he tries and largely fails to ignore.

In general, Stafford appears detached as ever, still prefers to keep others at a distance and to act entirely on his own (though giving up some independence to accept companionship would probably be better for him, and at times he almost thinks that he might want this). There is, however, a slight twitch now and then, a shift of the eyes that indicates something unsettled. A deeply-impressed look of the haunted.




Other

Played By: Tim Roth